Personal Stories

Motherhood is a journey unlike any other. For every mother, this journey is filled with a myriad of emotions, moments of self-doubt, incredible joys, and countless small and big wins. As a 30-year-old woman raising two beautiful boys—A, who is 5, and J, who is 3—I often find myself reflecting on the milestones that shape this life of constant growth and discovery. Both theirs and mine. Each moment, from the tiniest to the most significant, has been a step toward celebrating not only my children’s progress but also my evolution as a mother.

The Early Days: New Beginnings and the First Wins

Motherhood starts the moment you find out you’re expecting, but nothing prepares you for the day you first hold your child in your arms. When A was born, I remember the rush of emotions—fear, excitement, and an overwhelming sense of love. Those first few months were full of tiny victories that felt monumental at the time. From breastfeeding successfully to understanding his cries and learning how to soothe him, each achievement was a win, a milestone that felt like climbing a mountain.

For many  mothers, these early stages can be challenging. We often navigate not only the typical struggles of early parenthood but also the societal pressures of being seen and heard in a world that doesn’t always recognize our unique needs. For me, it was crucial to surround myself with a community—family, friends, and other mothers who could offer support and encouragement during those sleepless nights and long days.

But with each passing day, my confidence grew. I learned to trust my instincts, to celebrate the small moments of progress, and to understand that every milestone—no matter how small—was a victory. A’s first smile, his first laugh, and eventually, his first steps filled me with pride. These moments reminded me that the sleepless nights, the constant worry, and the challenges of new motherhood were all worth it.

Juggling Two: The Challenge and Joy of Mothering Two Boys

When J came into the world, it felt like a completely new chapter. Despite already having experienced motherhood once, every child is different, and with J, I had to learn a new rhythm. Adjusting to life with two children, especially with a toddler and a newborn, was overwhelming at times. It felt like I was always pulled in two directions—A needing attention and J demanding care.

But soon, I discovered that juggling two children was not just about balance; it was about learning to embrace the chaos. Celebrating the small wins became more important than ever. Whether it was managing to get both kids dressed and out the door in the morning or finally getting them both to sleep at the same time, every day had its own set of triumphs.

Motherhood is often about these little moments—ones that don’t make it into the parenting books but are deeply personal and rewarding. For me, it was watching A step into the role of big brother, seeing how he began to care for J, and witnessing their bond grow. Their first shared laugh, the way A would hand J his toys, and eventually, the moments they would play together on their own were all milestones that I celebrated privately in my heart.

The Importance of Self-Care: A Milestone in Its Own Right

In the early years of motherhood, it’s easy to lose yourself in the demands of caring for your children. I quickly realized, though, that one of the biggest milestones in my motherhood journey wasn’t about my boys’ achievements—it was about taking care of myself. Learning to prioritize my mental and physical health became crucial.

As a woman, society often expects us to be “strong,” to keep pushing through no matter how tired or worn out we feel. But I learned that real strength comes from knowing when to ask for help and when to take a break. Scheduling time for myself, even if it was just an hour to read a book, take a walk, or have a cup of tea in silence, became a critical part of my routine.

It wasn’t easy. At first, I felt guilty for wanting time away from my kids. But soon, I realized that when I took care of myself, I was better able to care for them. This was a win I never anticipated—the understanding that self-care is not selfish, but necessary. It was a milestone in my growth as a mother, a reminder that in order to pour into my children, I had to fill my own cup.

The First Day of School: A Big Milestone for Us All

One of the most significant milestones in any child’s life is their first day of school. When A started kindergarten, it was an emotional moment for both of us. Watching him walk into that classroom, his tiny backpack slung over his shoulders, I felt a mixture of pride and sadness. He was growing up, becoming more independent, and stepping into a world that I couldn’t always protect him from.

For mothers, the first day of school is often filled with additional layers of concern. We worry about how our children will be perceived, whether they’ll feel included, and how they’ll navigate a system that may not always be built for their success. I knew that, like many  children, A would face unique challenges. But I also knew that he was strong, kind, and resilient.

That first day was a big win for us both. A’s excitement and curiosity made me proud, and I knew that this was just the beginning of a new chapter in our lives. I had guided him through his early years, and now it was time to trust that the values I had instilled in him would carry him through this new journey.

Celebrating the Big and Small Wins of Every Day

As a mother, I’ve learned that the most meaningful milestones are often the ones that go unnoticed by others but are deeply felt by you. They’re the moments when your child does something new for the first time, when they say “I love you” without prompting, or when they show kindness to someone else. These are the wins that fill your heart with pride and remind you that you’re doing something right.

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it’s easy to overlook these moments. But I’ve made it a point to slow down and savor them. Whether it’s celebrating A learning to write his name or watching J figure out how to put on his shoes, I try to acknowledge and celebrate their growth. These small victories add up, and they’re just as important as the bigger milestones like birthdays and graduations.

The Unique Experience of Black Motherhood

Motherhood is a universal experience, but being a Black mother comes with its own unique set of challenges and triumphs. From navigating stereotypes to raising children in a world where they may face prejudice, the journey requires strength, resilience, and a deep sense of pride in who we are.

As a Black mother, I am intentional about teaching my boys to love themselves, their skin, and their culture. I celebrate their heritage and make sure they know their history, even as I prepare them for the realities they may face in the future. It’s a delicate balance—allowing them to remain innocent and joyful while also equipping them with the tools they need to navigate the world as young Black boys.

There’s a certain pride that comes with being able to raise children who are confident in who they are, despite the messages society may send them. And that, too, is a milestone worth celebrating.

 The Journey Continues: Looking Toward the Future

Motherhood is a journey that never truly ends. As my boys grow, I know that there will be more milestones to celebrate—both big and small. From losing their first teeth to graduating from high school, every stage of their lives will bring new challenges and new joys.

But as I reflect on the journey so far, I’m reminded that motherhood is not just about the milestones we set for our children. It’s also about our own growth and evolution as mothers. Each day brings new lessons, new challenges, and new opportunities to celebrate how far we’ve come.

As we journey through motherhood, let us remember that every step—whether big or small—matters. These milestones, from first smiles to first days of school, are not just markers of our children’s growth, but of our own strength, resilience, and love. We are not only raising them; we are growing alongside them. So, to every mother out there, pause and celebrate these moments. You are doing an incredible job, and your wins—no matter how quiet or grand—deserve to be honored. Here’s to the daily victories that shape us into the mothers we are, and the mothers we are becoming.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read, I hope you found something here that resonated with you or brought a smile to your face. I’d love to hear your thoughts or any tips you might have in the comments below. Until next time, take care and stay inspired!